A: Audrey Chapman’s article In Search of Love and Commitment: Dealing with the Challenging Odds of Finding Romance discusses the challenges that are plaguing the African American community. There are higher divorce rates, low marriage rates, high incarceration rates among men, and different education attainment rates between men and women. I think one of the important things to first consider is that young men may not be getting the proper influences and role models in their lives. I belive it is important for men in the African American community to reach out to the younger boys and their schools to organize empowerment groups to teach the boys life skills, encourage them in their academics, and to put them on the right path. In addition, I think it’s important for people to not set such high unattainable standards for companions. At the end of the day no one is perfect, and everyone needs to realize there will be flaws in every person you meet. You should embrace their flaws. Lastly, I think African Americans (and all Americans) should be required to take pre-marriage classes for atleast 6 months. They can choose where to take them. Maybe local churches or African American groups/organizations can offer classes specific to the African American community.
Q: From the Bethea article, “African-American Women and the Male-Female Relationship Dilemma: A Counseling Perspective”:
A: How have the stereotypes about Black men and women affected the Black family?
It’s almost blatantly obvious that the stereotypes of the overpowering “bitch” and the deadbeat asshole are still affecting the Black family. Just from observing friends talk, watching tv/movies, or discussions in class – it’s very clear these stereotypes are here. It’s resulting in African American woman not wanting to settle down with “lazy” black men, and Black men not wanting to deal with a “bitch.” These are HUGE misconceptions that must be changed.
Q: The authors end by discussing areas that need to be addressed if counselors are to be effective with Black couples. Describe the 3 areas of Issues and Approaches that need to be addressed in counseling African American. What are your thoughts about the solutions posed?
A: The 3 areas of Issues and Approaches that need to be addressed in counseling with African Americans are Loss, Communication, and stereotypes. I really agree with two of the issues, communication and defeating the stereotypes. In my opinion before communication can work, one most defeat the stereotypes. People need to realize that stereotypes are made up and then perpetuated throughout the years because people as a whole aren’t fighting them. They just remain constant in society. Even in race groups, people are perpetuating the stereotype i.e. bitch and the deadbeat. We need to address those stereotypes, inform how they wrong, and kill them. Then successful communication can happen. Communication is key in understanding one another.
Q: Richardson, B.L. & Wade, B. (2001). What mama couldn’t teach us about love. Readings on Anti-intimacy Beliefs. On-line Handout. Choose 2 Anti-Intimacy Beliefs and relate each back to the legacy of slavery
A: I’ll lose anyone who gets close to me. HUGE intimacy issue! During slavery, families and friends were torn apart. It was hard to make strong bonds and relationships because you never knew how long you’d have with someone. This legacy has made it hard to make strong bonds with people
A: My Body is not my own. During slavery, women (and men) didn’t own their bodies. Slave masters owned them. Slaves were used for breeding purposes and were raped. This makes me think of sex slaves. Although sex trafficking is prevalent around the world, there are girls (a lot of time minorities i.e. black) who get stuck in the sex trade. They don’t own their bodies, their “pimp” or “daddy” owns them.
Good post. I agree with what you said about stereotypes: "We need to address those stereotypes, inform how they wrong, and kill them. Then successful communication can happen. Communication is key in understanding one another."
ReplyDeleteIt's so overwhelming when you see that it's not only whites internalizing the stereotypes but also the Black community as well. The only way I see to confront the issue is to just inform my friends, family, etc. when I hear the stereotypes, but I wish there was a way to address it on a larger scale.
I agree with you on many of your answers. On your first questions I agree that people especially African American women should not have such high unattainable standards for their partners. They are just setting themselves up for a life of unhappiness in their relationships. I also agree that couples should enter into some sort of counseling before their marriage takes place, to see if they are really compatible. I believe just like you that there cannot be any form of communication between the couples without first demolishing stereotypes. With the couples believing so heavily into stereotypes they cannot open up honestly to their partners. Hopefully society will start to head in the right direction and inform people that the stereotypes are false and therefore African American partners in relationships can communicate effectively.
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